Reassurance.

berrycheesecake90 2 days ago

TW!⚠️‼️(only mentions of the words SH and SI no other details other than just words, if it triggers u, do not read last line of paragraph 1 or post. If it doesnt, id encourage u to read.)

I think reassurance gets misunderstood a lot, and gets a bad rep. Yet it could save a life. A lot of people go through a lot, and never get the proper help or support, OR BARELY, that they need. Each person is unique and I'd like to say that reassurance helps. When someone is clearly suffering, they're all alone, and even if trapped with people who clearly hurt them mentally and their image of themselves, they need reassurance. At least someone saying "hey, you matter, you are worthy, and you do not deserve these things that happened to you." in clear sentences as well. Personally that's what helps me too. not just "you are" but full sentences. so that when it feels dark again, I can reread it and feel a bit of relief. I feel like a lot of people show this again, toxic positivity of "I care" then things get hard and you have needs, and they leave. The definition of reassurance literally is: "the act of removing someone's doubts or fears" or even "the act of providing comfort, validation, or support to restore someone's confidence and ease their worries." Now, DO NOT come in here with the "oh but what about when they get too attached or dependent—" that is not what I'm speaking about. And at any rate, you can build self-reassurance with reassurance for others but never leave someone who doesn't know how to do it alone. Set boundaries yes, but don’t be harsh? Are you kidding??? And don’t randomly disappear and never respond back over reassurance or anything. I don’t understand how and when people forgot to be human and community oriented and instead pretend to be this positive energy thing that is just shining ignorance is bliss. Like I said, people are humans, they make mistakes, they have problems, they have joy, they have anger, they have sadness. And I just hate when people try and dismiss you by putting out that example or like when they clearly try and dodge it, just say it. If you're not comfy with it, say it humanely and respectfully. but do not expect me to return to you for help. You can give reassurance, you can have boundaries, you can help someone also build their own self-assurance. All of those can exist but never, EVER shame someone for asking if they’re worthy or beautiful, you don’t know the crisis that's in their heads and body 24/7 and if you do then come on.. I just find it so disrespectful when people claim to be supportive then things get too hard and no communication or consideration and just abandonment, then people wonder why you don't ask for help or someone becomes hyper-independent. I've seen this on the crisis lines too. Stop acting like a tough mama bird. People are in crisis, the last thing they need is someone saying 'you need to know that yourself' 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Ohh.. if that would’ve worked it would’ve worked a long time ago. Same as saying 'go cook yourself' to someone who wasn't taught proper kitchen safety. Come on now.. these types of stuff make people who really need someone to say they’re worthy and deserve joy just hide it. Hide the need, push down the need and then it forms into SH, SI, or lord knows what else. I and anyone should never have to feel like a burden for asking 1 reassurance or needing some consistent ones 'cause we can’t currently find it anywhere.

In summary, reassurance can save a life, if someone's in crisis, or you know they aren't doing well and are near the verge, PLEASE, be a human, don’t be a blank 'toxic positivity' force or 'toxic self-help' force. Treat them like a human, maybe they need to be validated, or heard, or just have a nice chat, or reassurance that they matter. I once heard "don't learn how to swim when drowning" (Melissa Romano again) and I would say 'save someone from drowning before teaching them how to swim.' because I believe a lot of people unfortunately don't have a lot of serious support when they immediately need it and it just builds into crisis unfortunately. Reassurance is literally the need of knowing you belong. I’d really love for people to know the difference and to know you can help someone still, you can integrate some stuff they can practice doing on their own. It just breaks my heart that lot of people can’t relax in support 'cause of some stigmas.